My health has been in flux for some time – not all physical, and sometimes that makes it even harder to cope with sometimes. I recently finished a treatment of medication and it has done its job, but I am in an even worse spot right now than I was before. I am not going to go into detail about the issues, but I will say that it deals with my reproductive health. With a borage of other problems surfacing, I am finding my life to be rather unpleasant (in a very First World Problems sort of way). Being so exhausted, I have had some trouble with remembering deadlines and inspiration for my writing and photography.
My spiritual health has been in a much worse state than usual. I have attempted, and backslid, from moving forward on my path many times over the last few weeks. I know some of what I want from my practice, from my path, but unfortunately, I have no idea how to implement my thoughts and feelings into my day to day life. I have wanted to study more and more, but I find it difficult to keep my mind settled on any task.
The Wind has been violent lately – clouds have covered the sky at least part of each day for the last week, and though it has been steadily getting warmer, as Spring is want to do, and yet there is a chill in the air that sends shivers down my arms and makes my hair stand on end. I feel that the Wind is trying to tell me something, show me something, but I am not sure how to find out what exactly it wants to tell me.
So many things have been happening in the world – not just the larger world, but in my own personal world. Every day it seems like there is something to cause me to feel like a failure. Though I know, deep down, that I am not a failure, the feelings in my heart and the thoughts in my mind tell a different story, they sing a different song.
I am struggling. It is a constant battle. Most days, I don’t know if I will make it through, but sometimes, on those rare occasions, I have the strength of Wonder Woman and can handle everything the Universe throws at me.