solstice day // litha 2018

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Let us begin. Let us sing.

Singing of the small corn. 
Singing of the large corn.
Singing as the evening falls.
Singing as the light dawns.

The light dawns and finds us singing,
singing as the corn waves tassels at us.
The dark falls and finds us singing,
singing while the squash waves leaves at us.

The earth rumbles from the beating
of our basket drums.

The rain comes. The rain comes.

–Pima rain-making song in The Goddess Celebrates by Patricia Monaghan

I woke up long after dawn – I knew I wouldn’t have been able to rise with the sun, and that is alright. It doesn’t make me any less, and though I have to remind myself daily that I am not someone else, I am me and I have my limits, it is getting easier for me to accept that.

A bit after local solar noon here in the desert, I found my gorgeous Summer Solstice Story Goddess and my Divine Imperfection (which I have dubbed my Creative Spirit Story Goddess) from Brigid’s Grove, and placed them on our dining room table. I attempted to do a tarot reading, using the sun layout in the resources from one of the courses I am taking, but I did not feel the cards. It is the first time I have ever felt so disconnected from my cards. It was a saddening experience, and one that I hope to never feel again. I think, perhaps, that it was entirely situational and not based on myself or my cards – they just did not fit with what I was trying to do.

This morning I had decided to print out the free version of the Womanrunes offered by Molly Remer (full set available at the link above), and I copied down the original meanings from a handout offered in the Womanrunes course. I cut them out and put them in one of the many organza bags that I have laying around, and I shook them up. It felt right, and as I laid out the little runes with my Story Goddesses watching, it just felt right. And oh, my dear friends, the reading I received was insightful.

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I was in the process of writing out this reading in my personal journal (my book of mirrors) when my mentor arrived for our meeting. We discussed the symbols uses, but so much the meaning of those that were drawn for me – we had our meeting and towards the end she and I were discussing taking back some of our personal power. In my case, it is doing certain things on my own and for myself – like calling to make sure I have my medication, making appointments, confirming things.

She has been working on this with multiple clients of hers, and I find it interesting that I had come to the conclusion to work on it on my own. We had talked about it previously, about how I was trying to take control over certain aspects of my life and how that is a positive change, but it hadn’t been a conscious decision on my part until earlier this week. At this particular time in my life, where I am and what I am doing on a day to day, I have little control over many aspects of my life – so I am trying to find little ways to assert myself.

The reason I bring this up is because, regardless of the other symbols present in the reading, the rune in the space of “time to celebrate” (in the centre) is The Dancing Woman, Rune of Power. She asks how are you dancing in your power? where might you need to more fully inhabit your power?

After reading through the meanings of the symbols and coming to a better understanding of them and their placements, I realised just how much power I have let go of in my life. The Cauldron, Rune of Alchemy, in the position of “bring to light” asks what do you want to create? and what needs time and focus to brew? I want so deeply to get back to painting. I have missed it immensely, and I took the first step toward realising that desire today. I moved my space from the couch, where I have been for some time due to health issues, back to the dining room table. Being in the hearth space of our home has always been the best place for me to create.

On that note, in the space of “still in need of nurturing in dark and quiet spaces…” is The Broom, Rune of Purification and Cleansing. Decluttering my space, both physical and mental, has been a big goal for me these past few months. My mentor brought me some egg crates to stack up as storage in my hearth space, and though it worked relatively well for a short span of time, my space continues to accumulate clutter. It is an ongoing struggle, but I hope to have it tamed within the next few months…

It was interesting to receive The Yoni, Rune of Making, in the “what is blooming for me” position. This reading was filled with creation. Now the question is what are you creating, birthing, nourishing, and blessing? and I am sure you all know the answer: Aequoris. My current piece is coming along, albeit slowly. I am having trouble finding the right words, the right images, to convey the tale I want to bring forward. But I am sure that the sparks are there, and will come forward with a bit of coaxing.

The Cresent Moon found me in “what is withering in the heat” – this is the Rune of Divination, Ritual, and the Unconscious. I definitely have little motivation to drag myself outside during 102 degree weather, and my health has made me a bit less able to do much recently. I do hear the Moon Mother calling to me, every night – I also hear the birds and breeze and laughter that the sunshine brings during the day. Spirit is calling me, and yet my mind and body are more comfortable indoors. I am homebound, for a good reason (my roommate recently had surgery, and I am her live-in caretaker), but I know that I need to at least step outside and connect to the world around me for a few moments each day. I also need to find a place for divination, whether with Tarot or Womanrunes or some other system, in my daily life.

We have come full circle – I began this little journey into my Womanrunes reading with The Dancing Woman, Rune of Power – and here she is, in the final position, telling me it is time to celebrate my power. And I am, in my own silent way, celebrating my power – however small it may seem at this point, it is a step forward for me.

This Solstice has been the first time I have celebrated, with intent, a sabbat for quite some time. I usually find some reason to put it off, mostly because I feel disconnected from Spirit, or just unmotivated. But, recently, I have felt a deeper need to reconnect with my path, and this was the best way for me to start that journey.

☽ ✰ ☾
victoria

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