hide and seek with the goddess


From a young age, I have been deeply interested in mythology and the ancient civilisations that it served. I have studied numerous cultures, learned correspondences and names of hundreds of deities, researched rites and traditions and celebrations and foods, along with politics and economics. I have honoured Egyptian, Hindu, and Greek deities both separately and together in the same rituals. I have felt called by a few deities, but never quite as loudly as to inspire me to dedicate myself to them.

I denied my interest in the Norse deities, from a spiritual standpoint, because I do not feel honourable or strong enough to work with them. I have longed to touch my Native American roots, but fear that a certain type of person may attack me for ‘cultural appropriation’. The closest I have gotten to my Cherokee heritage is my use of the name ‘Great Spirit’ in terms of the Universe.

I have felt a steady calling to the Celtic deities for months, and have been playing hide and seek with them the entire time. The calling is actually what inspired my research on Druidry that is culminated in my choice to go farther down that Path. I have always had an affinity for deities of creativity, magic, and the Earth – this love is what prompted my original connection with Hecate, many years ago. The Torchbearer, the Keeper of the Keys – Hecate was precisely the deity that I needed to work with at that point in my life. She has stood at the crossroads of many life-changing situations, illuminating the possible paths I could go down, helping me to learn as much as I could about Magic and Witchcraft.

However, my spirit has never truly resonated with Her, or the culture I know Her to be from. And so, I started my recent search to identify a deity that does speak to me. It has taken me to dozens of blogs and web pages and articles, some of which were incredibly helpful while others were mediocre or biased this way or that.

The focus of my search was a deity that held a similar position to Hecate, had similar themes and correspondences, and gave me the warm feeling in my chest that I felt was lacking.

My first foray into the Celtic pantheon will be with Cerridwen. As I researched her, I felt a warmth in my chest and a flutter in my belly. In life, she was an enchantress, but she was also honoured as a Goddess of magic, inspiration, transformation, death, rebirth, and fertility. Depending on the source, she is also connected with the Moon, Divination/Prophecy, Healing, and the Underworld/Otherworld.

In my research, I did feel fairly firm tugs whilst reading about three other Goddesses – the ever popular Brigid, the rather interesting Nicnevin, and finally Elen of the Ways. As I work through reading things about Cerridwen, I do plan on researching more on the others to better understand why I felt such a deep calling from them.

Through everything I have been doing in the past few weeks, I feel such a sense of serenity on my path. There is a peace in my soul, which is indicative (to me) that I am on the right path. Without a doubt, I can say that I have never felt so at home with my own spirituality.


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