march 2018 // recap

I have been in a downward spiral for weeks, though a few lovely things have helped to bring smiles to my face. Painting has been an incredible outlet for me, and I recently set up shop on etsy.com.

You might be wondering whatever happened to my Bullet Journal – I still have it, and I am trying to get back into the habit of using it daily again, but when I can barely motivate myself to get out of bed, planning just doesn’t seem possible at all. I am working on it though, and I do have the thought planted firmly in my mind that I will be filming and uploading and photographing my May spread for you.

March was a fairly gentle month, aside from the deepening waters of depression. Many firsts happened – the first buds began to peek through the bare branches, little yellow and white wildflowers began to pop up here and there along the roads – not to mention the Arizona Lupines that grow along the vast stretches of roads here in the Desert. The birds sang all through Winter, but nothing like their sweet songs once the sun begins to warm the air.

My birthday was simple, exactly how I prefer it. I also was able to finally get an intake for behavioural health services – and my children are doing well in their therapy sessions. Many things have been discussed in terms of my mental health, and though some are terrifying, I know that it is necessary to go through with all of this if I want accurate and adequate help and benefits. I just hope that I am not lost in the fray of paperwork and diagnoses.

I will share a bit of an update on our educational adventure over on Desert Starlight.

Until next time, my lovelies – love and light.

☽ ✰ ☾
victoria

tea talk // an update

Hello everyone, I am so sorry for not writing for so long. Life has been all over the place, it seems, but things may be settling down for now. There have been so many changes over the last few weeks, and though I had planned on sharing here sooner I just never seemed to find the right moment or the right words. Well, here we are now, sharing a moment with each other. I am actually just about to make myself some tea (it is nearing 8pm here in the desert).

I do believe that the last post I wrote was at the beginning of this month, and was about daily journaling – unfortunately, I have fallen off the daily journaling wagon. It is still on my mind each morning, but it has definitely transformed – I may not be journaling, but I am painting. I think part of why I stopped journaling is because I have a certain vision for my writing and without certain things, I don’t feel inspired to journal at the moment. Painting has taken over as my current form of expression, and though I do plan on writing more in the coming weeks, I truly hope that painting is here to stay.

My writing has taken a moment of pause as well – Aequoris is still being written, though at a much slower pace than I had originally planned. Life has a strange way of moving around us as we stand still. I am still trying to find a balance to everything I am doing, but it has turned out to be harder than I had thought.

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The sky is such a lovely and expressive muse – we have some of the most beautiful sunsets here in the desert, and the night skies are fantastic.

I decided to do a four-piece collection, called The Seasons:

 

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My most recent painting (from today, actually) is something that was inspired by a YouTube creator, Maria Raczynska. She is such an amazing artist, I definitely suggest that anyone who loves watching art being made seek her videos out.

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I have so many other paintings that I have, tucked away in a folder, but these are my favourites and the ones I hope will find their ways into peoples hearts and homes. I also have a few bookmarks that I have photographed.

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I truly hope that my artwork brings a spark of inspiration to others, as so many artists have inspired me.

☽ ✰ ☾
victoria

daily journalling

In my previous post about my March set up, there was an image of my goals for this month, as well as my first weekly layout. On these pages, there are prompts for both journalling and a photo a day challenge for this month.

The first photo prompt is “Morning” – and the journal prompt for today is “Who is your family?” I tend to do my prompted entries in the morning as a way to focus my mind and create a sort of thoughtful awareness toward my day – because of this, I chose to take a photo of the two things that generally fill my morning.

I am so inspired by some of the fantastic journallers on YouTube (JennyJournals, Jordan Clark, and ChristineMyLinh), and that definitely shows itself in my personal journal. I do wish that I could put some documentation of our days in it, but I am not sure I can justify purchasing either the materials to print photos (paper and colour ink) or a smaller printer (like a Kodak or an HP Sprocket or something like them). I am still shopping around, but for now I am happy to be including amazing photos I have found on Pinterest (check this board and this board). I will possibly share more of this journal – including my 2018 Vision Board – and how it has changed in a matter of days, later this week. I am so happy to have this sort of creative outlet.

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☽ ✰ ☾
victoria

march monthly spread // bullet journal

I have been waiting, patiently, to share my March monthly spread with everyone. I didn’t want to share it too soon, just in case I needed more time – and trust me, I agonised over this spread because it is going to be the first monthly spread I use. And now, because of my procrastination and agonising, I am sharing this later than I had originally planned. Maybe next time I’ll just post early.

I do want to share that a lot of the journal was inspired heavily by Jordan Clark (stellaireblog.com), as well as a few different spreads I found while down a Pinterest rabbit hole (you can see all of my journaling inspiration here and here).

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I have been painting a lot more recently – I do try and get around to it every day, even if it is something small on a piece of scrap watercolour paper. The same with drawing – I want to draw something every day, regardless of size or simplicity.

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There is still a page or two that I haven’t quite finished (my Ostara/Spring Equinox page and the Card of the Month *pictured above*), but I will share them either after they are complete or at the end of the month. This seems to be a productive way to track my days and habits and moods, so far – I am horrible at sticking with things, especially things like this. But my fingers are crossed that maybe, just maybe, this time it works out.

☽ ✰ ☾
victoria

aequoris // chapter 1

aequoris

I have been working on this story for a few weeks now, considering how to write it and how the story should flow. I would love your thoughts on this first chapter.


Chapter 1

“She loved the sea…
She liked the sharp salty smell of the air, and the vastness of the horizons bounded only by a vault of azure sky above.
It made her feel small, but free as well.”

– George R. R. Martin

 

She had no memories of a time in her life where she had not spent the morning hours by the sea, her toes buried in the damp sand, the salt spray from the waves covering her face. It was just proper for her to make her way down the hill from her great grandmother’s home to the wooden walk that sloped over the dunes and lead down to the water’s edge – as proper as tea in the afternoon and a bite of sweets before bed. Even as a young child, no one had stopped her from going to the beach, so long as she was accompanied and remained vigilant about the ocean’s rules.

“Never turn your back to the waves without a proper goodbye,” her mother would say, staring out at the churning sea. “The sea takes that as a great sign of disrespect, and it will crash over you and take you down into its depths without another thought. She is old, older than all of history, and she demands that that one form of respect be honoured.

“Should you ever find that you have dishonoured her, an offering must be made before she takes matters into her own hands – the best offerings are pieces of art, any art, that are filled with your thoughts and emotions and come from your hands. Paintings, jewellery, drawings, pottery – anything from your hands is worth more than one thousand words to the sea. Take the offering to the calmest spot on the beach and gently ease it into the water. She will take it.” Her mother had created many offerings for the ocean, whether she had wronged her or not.

“The sea holds firm to our souls, Cora, and she will call to us when she needs us home. No matter where you are, return to the sea as quickly as possible if you feel her tugging on your soul. You will know the feeling. It is gut-wrenching, it is this terrifying need to step into the waters, to feel the sand beneath your feet. Come home when you are called, Cora.”

She had left her family’s small island, one summer during her junior year of high school, and had gone to visit an old friend in the mountains. She had never been away from the island for very long, partially because her mother had not been able to keep herself away due to an illness that she had had from birth – however, Cora had made the decision that she would travel the world, spend as much time away from the island as possible so as to not become like her mother. During that summer, Cora had the most terrible dreams – dreams of tsunamis and hurricanes and animals washing ashore. There were no landlines where she was, and cell phone service was spotty at best; when she finally arrived home, the news reached her before she set foot on the pier. Her great-grandmother, her best friend in all the world, had passed away. When she opened the door to the home where she had been the youngest of four generations of women, her mother greeted her with stormy eyes.

“Why did you not answer the call?” her mother asked. Cora had no answer, and so the silence stretched between them across years. Her mother firmly believed that had Cora come home, the matriarch of their small clan would have lived many more years. Even as she sat on the beach, her toes buried in the sand as they had been years before, the silence had not been broken.

“Our lives, our existence, is contingent upon our relationship with the sea.” Cora had always thought her mother meant that they relied heavily on the fishermen that lived on the island and supplied the few families, including her own, with food. She had never considered that, perhaps, there was more to that simple sentiment than she thought.

Cora was no longer welcome on the island, though the other families that resided there would not have denied her access to her ancestral home. Her mother, however, refused to see her – and so, because she had chosen to leave the silence and the anger and the resentment behind, Cora found herself living in a small seaside town surrounded by waves on one side and forested mountains on the other.

As atonement for refusing to answer the call to return home, she spent much of her free time creating art that she would send out to sea on makeshift rafts lit by lanterns in the dead of night. It was cathartic to watch as the light from the lantern bobbed and dipped perilously on the waves only to be swallowed up and taken down into the depths of the sea, taking the art she had poured her soul into with it.


☽ ✰ ☾

victoria