under the sky

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The world seems to have continued on without me as I sit here. I watch everything move, yet I am unmoving. I go about my days as if by clockwork. I know my duties, I know my routines, and yet I long for something more. I long for something other. I so wish the words would flow through me as they did with The Call of the Sea, that something would come from these thoughts and feelings that boil within my spirit.

I am finding words difficult to write here, for this post. I feel like I have lost my connection to the words, to the images, though I know that this is typical for me. Once I finish a writing a tale, I always have a period of disenchantment, a period of silence within my mind and soul that eats away at me. This is why I fill the gaps between tales with artwork, with coursework, with something to give my thoughts an outlet. I am hoping that this lull in activity will subside come November, but I know that it is a real possibility (as it always is) that it will continue on into the new year. I am ready for whatever my spirit needs of me, I just hope that it is something I can give it.

Sitting under the sky, with the clouds rolling over me, has given me some peace of mind. The storms are still on the horizon, the rain still threatens to drench this desert, but the promise of cooler days and a more ancestral feeling is in the air. I love Autumn. It is a time of inner work for me, a time of ancestor work and of honouring Place. I do not know what I will be doing this Autumn, but I hope to bring some things into my life that have been missing over the last year.

For now, here are some photos from a recent trip to New Mexico. I hope you enjoy them:

 

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artwork update

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My creative workspace. I use the same area when I write, but without the painting board.

“This grand show is eternal. It is always sunrise somewhere; the dew is never dried at once; a shower is forever falling; vapor is ever rising. Eternal sunrise, eternal sunset, eternal dawn and gloaming, on sea and continents and islands, each in its turn, as the round earth rolls.”

–John Muir

I have recently been painting a bit more, which is always nice. Many of the pieces are inspired by yet another free course offered by Molly Remer at Mystery School of the Goddess, as well as just general Path work. It is wonderful to feel Awen flow through me, as well as to have the motivation to bring my art into the world.

 

I have hope that I will have the energy and motivation to photograph them properly tomorrow, as well as to scan them in for future use seeing as I am selling the originals. I am so proud of myself for continuing to paint, even though I have created quite a few flop pieces – looking through videos and tutorials has helped me to understand certain techniques and I seem to be improving with each new painting.

A bit of an update on the tale I am weaving:

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Aequoris has taken a strange, but completely wonderful, turn. Every day, I am taken to a new space within the Universe created around these characters. Ritual, Magic, Love, and Mythical Creatures – they all play a part in the tale and I am so honoured to be inspired enough to write it. Here is a small snippet from a recent chapter:

The sun dipped low on the horizon, casting pinks and purples and greys into the clouds that hovered over the vast sea. Vivian had left a message stating that she would not be returning that night, that her family had plans in Bayside and she was invited. Cora bit her lip as she and her mother sat on the deck, her eyes threatening to let go of the tears she had been holding back.

There was a space between herself and her companion, and it was widening with each day they were on the island – between Vivian’s family and their wishes for her future, and Cora’s own family history, she knew that there was little hope for their special brand of intimacy to continue. She could not offer the things that Vivian, and her family, wanted for her – nor could Vivian stand up to the battering waves of intense emotions for much longer. She had seen her closest friend falter more than once under the weight, and though she wanted more than anything to spend the rest of her life beside Vivian, Cora knew how impossible it would be.

Until next time <3

 

final image credit

summer

Though Summer will not officially be here until 21 June, we have already welcomed our first Monsoon rain of the year. In fact, we were a bit early with a storm coming upon us before 15 June. Unfortunately, I will not be getting out to take many photos this time around, at least not until the season is coming to a close, so I will share some moments from the previous years Monsoon.

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With the coming of the yearly rains comes to thoughts of yet another deity of this Place I call home. Monsoon, the Wet Summer as the local tribes have called it, brings with it not only life giving rain, but life itself. Reptiles and amphibians come out of their hiding to eat the vast amounts of insects that appear with the rains. The air is heavy, not only with moisture, but with electricity – you can feel the charge even when the skies are clear.

ei-teph (ay-tehf) is the Goddess of summer rains, the second spring, and floods. ei-dysus (ay-die-suhs) is the God of thunder and lightning, of fires started by lightning strikes, and the consort of ei-teph. They do not appear alone, they are always beside each other. Their passion brings the rains and the storms, and they inspire our ancestors to dance in the clouds and bring us the sounds of their drums and flashes of their fires.

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Fires are not uncommong during Monsoon – especially when we have days without rain, but with so much lightning. Many fires are started by people, some unsuspectingly, and others with intent – but there is no life without death, no creation without destruction. The rains always come and help to douse the flames, and in the years to come, ei-teph brings green back to the land.

I have never been one for Deities – they feel too fantastical. But I also understand the desire to put a name to the energies that surround us. I know that, with science and modern technology, we can understand the things that our ancestors could not – but Deities are not only about putting a name to things so we can understand them, but Deities are a way for us to connect, in a deeper way, to the energies around us. We can have all the scientific knowledge in the world, but there will always be a part of us that is awe-struck by the rolling clouds, the cracks of lightning and booms of thunder, the waves of flood waters, and the intense greenery that springs forth each year in an otherwise arid valley.

I may not regularly honour the deities I name here as their own entities, but that is not to say that I do not honour them at all. My primary Deity is the Great Spirit, that which is within and around all of us – those aspects of this Place that I choose to name are only facets of Spirit, the parts that make up the whole.

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The rain is so cleansing. Even if you do not step out and feel it on your skin, the sounds can wash away the things within our minds that we wish to be rid of. Sit for a moment and listen to the rain hitting the ground, the leaves, the roof of your house or car, and just be still. Watch it fall. Count the drops. Centre yourself, mind and body and spirit, and connect for a moment with the forces that surround you in your Place, even if there is no rain.

Summer, for me and the rest of the desert, is about Birth and Life and Cleansing. The skies wash everything clean, and leave behind a sort of Newness that we desert dwellers pine for every year.

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☽ ✰ ☾
victoria

tea talk // an update

Hello everyone, I am so sorry for not writing for so long. Life has been all over the place, it seems, but things may be settling down for now. There have been so many changes over the last few weeks, and though I had planned on sharing here sooner I just never seemed to find the right moment or the right words. Well, here we are now, sharing a moment with each other. I am actually just about to make myself some tea (it is nearing 8pm here in the desert).

I do believe that the last post I wrote was at the beginning of this month, and was about daily journaling – unfortunately, I have fallen off the daily journaling wagon. It is still on my mind each morning, but it has definitely transformed – I may not be journaling, but I am painting. I think part of why I stopped journaling is because I have a certain vision for my writing and without certain things, I don’t feel inspired to journal at the moment. Painting has taken over as my current form of expression, and though I do plan on writing more in the coming weeks, I truly hope that painting is here to stay.

My writing has taken a moment of pause as well – Aequoris is still being written, though at a much slower pace than I had originally planned. Life has a strange way of moving around us as we stand still. I am still trying to find a balance to everything I am doing, but it has turned out to be harder than I had thought.

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The sky is such a lovely and expressive muse – we have some of the most beautiful sunsets here in the desert, and the night skies are fantastic.

I decided to do a four-piece collection, called The Seasons:

 

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My most recent painting (from today, actually) is something that was inspired by a YouTube creator, Maria Raczynska. She is such an amazing artist, I definitely suggest that anyone who loves watching art being made seek her videos out.

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I have so many other paintings that I have, tucked away in a folder, but these are my favourites and the ones I hope will find their ways into peoples hearts and homes. I also have a few bookmarks that I have photographed.

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I truly hope that my artwork brings a spark of inspiration to others, as so many artists have inspired me.

☽ ✰ ☾
victoria